To make our film as accurate as possible we did some research in to sexual grooming and the different stages. We also looked at why the abuser does it to try and get an idea of the sort of character the father should be.
On this website we found information about where children are most likely to become targets and the different stages of sexual grooming.
Sexual Grooming of Children
Most sports clubs offer excellent opportunities for young people to train, try new things, make friends and improve their skills. They are often the places where appropriate trusting relationships with adults outside the family or formal education sector are developed. Such relationships of trust should be used appropriately to advise young people and demonstrate the positive values of sport through role modelling.
However, sports clubs can also provide opportunities for adults to target and groom a child or young person through their role as a volunteer or paid employee. Grooming is defined by the Home Office as communication with a child where this is an intention to meet and commit a sex offence. More generally it can be seen as the process by which an individual manipulates those around them – particularly, but not exclusively, the child – to provide opportunities to abuse and reduce the likelihood of being reported or discovered.
Whilst this is not a common occurrence it is something that should be recognised does happen. Abusers come from all sections of society and are often perceived by others as respectable, reliable and trustworthy people. Research tells us that the vast majority of abusers are well known to the child and often hold a position of trust or authority.
This has helped us in working out how the father is going to be able to isolate the victim, by becoming someone they can trust and go to for help, for example a father or a friends parent.
Why do they do it?
We cannot fully understand what motivates some seemingly kind and respectable people to groom and abuse children. The important thing is to understand that this can and does happen. At some level most abusers know what they are doing is harmful, so develop distorted views about appropriate behaviour to justify their actions. They delude themselves, for example into believing they only want to ‘love’ children, or that the young people enjoy and encourage such behaviour.
Abusers may be able to watch media images of another so called “monster” who abuses and not recognise themselves. They may manage potential feelings of guilt by convincing themselves that their actions don’t constitute abuse, that the abuse is not harmful (even that it’s good for the child), or that they are actually the victims in the situation. When flashes of reality get through to them they may become depressed. Some may push guilt away, often blaming others, including the child.
This has given us an insight in to how the father character should be shown to the audience, as a man who cant see that he's doing wrong or that he is trying to replace something in his life.
On the same website we found the steps of sexual grooming.
Stage 1 Sexual motivation
Strong urges or desires
Thinking about something or wanting to do something
Reinforced by fantasies
Stage 2 Overcoming internal inhibitions against acting on that motivation
Giving in to the urge or desire
Making excuses
Justifications
Overcoming conscience
Stage 3 Overcoming external impediments to committing sexual abuse
How you go about engaging in the behaviour
Grooming others
Gaining access to a victim
Creating situations where abuse can take place
Reducing the chances of the abuse being discovered or reported, or of disclosures being believed
Stage 4 Undermining or overcoming the child's resistance to the sexual abuse
Getting the victim to be compliant
Threats
Bribes
Treats
Force
Trickery
On this website http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Child-Sexual-Abuse-6-Stages-of-Grooming/2 we found a slightly different set of stages of sexual grooming. We can now compare the stages to make sure we are making the film as realistic as possible.
Stage 1: Targeting the victim
The offender targets a victim by sizing up the child's vulnerability—emotional neediness, isolation and lower self-confidence. Children with less parental oversight are more desirable prey.
Stage 2: Gaining the victim's trust
The sex offender gains trust by watching and gathering information about the child, getting to know his needs and how to fill them. In this regard, sex offenders mix effortlessly with responsible caretakers because they generate warm and calibrated attention. Only more awkward and overly personal attention, or a gooey intrusiveness, provokes the suspicion of parents. Otherwise, a more suave sex offender is better disciplined for how to push and poke, without revealing themselves. Think of the grooming sex offender on the prowl as akin to a spy—and just as stealth.
Stage 3: Filling a need
Once the sex offender begins to fill the child's needs, that adult may assume noticeably more importance in the child's life and may become idealized. Gifts, extra attention, affection may distinguish one adult in particular and should raise concern and greater vigilance to be accountable for that adult
Stage 4: Isolating the child
The grooming sex offender uses the developing special relationship with the child to create situations in which they are alone together. This isolation further reinforces a special connection. Babysitting, tutoring, coaching and special trips all enable this isolation.
A special relationship can be even more reinforced when an offender cultivates a sense in the child that he is loved or appreciated in a way that others, not even parents, provide. Parents may unwittingly feed into this through their own appreciation for the unique relationship.
Stage 5: Sexualizing the relationship
At a stage of sufficient emotional dependence and trust, the offender progressively sexualizes the relationship. Desensitization occurs through talking, pictures, even creating situations (like going swimming) in which both offender and victim are naked. At that point, the adult exploits a child's natural curiosity, using feelings of stimulation to advance the sexuality of the relationship.
When teaching a child, the grooming sex offender has the opportunity to shape the child's sexual preferences and can manipulate what a child finds exciting and extend the relationship in this way. The child comes to see himself as a more sexual being and to define the relationship with the offender in more sexual and special terms.
The offender targets a victim by sizing up the child's vulnerability—emotional neediness, isolation and lower self-confidence. Children with less parental oversight are more desirable prey.
Stage 2: Gaining the victim's trust
The sex offender gains trust by watching and gathering information about the child, getting to know his needs and how to fill them. In this regard, sex offenders mix effortlessly with responsible caretakers because they generate warm and calibrated attention. Only more awkward and overly personal attention, or a gooey intrusiveness, provokes the suspicion of parents. Otherwise, a more suave sex offender is better disciplined for how to push and poke, without revealing themselves. Think of the grooming sex offender on the prowl as akin to a spy—and just as stealth.
Stage 3: Filling a need
Once the sex offender begins to fill the child's needs, that adult may assume noticeably more importance in the child's life and may become idealized. Gifts, extra attention, affection may distinguish one adult in particular and should raise concern and greater vigilance to be accountable for that adult
Stage 4: Isolating the child
The grooming sex offender uses the developing special relationship with the child to create situations in which they are alone together. This isolation further reinforces a special connection. Babysitting, tutoring, coaching and special trips all enable this isolation.
A special relationship can be even more reinforced when an offender cultivates a sense in the child that he is loved or appreciated in a way that others, not even parents, provide. Parents may unwittingly feed into this through their own appreciation for the unique relationship.
Stage 5: Sexualizing the relationship
At a stage of sufficient emotional dependence and trust, the offender progressively sexualizes the relationship. Desensitization occurs through talking, pictures, even creating situations (like going swimming) in which both offender and victim are naked. At that point, the adult exploits a child's natural curiosity, using feelings of stimulation to advance the sexuality of the relationship.
When teaching a child, the grooming sex offender has the opportunity to shape the child's sexual preferences and can manipulate what a child finds exciting and extend the relationship in this way. The child comes to see himself as a more sexual being and to define the relationship with the offender in more sexual and special terms.
Stage 6: Maintaining control
Once the sex abuse is occurring, offenders commonly use secrecy and blame to maintain the child's continued participation and silence—particularly because the sexual activity may cause the child to withdraw from the relationship.
Children in these entangled relationships—and at this point they are entangled—confront threats to blame them, to end the relationship and to end the emotional and material needs they associate with the relationship, whether it be the dirt bikes the child gets to ride, the coaching one receives, special outings or other gifts. The child may feel that the loss of the relationship and the consequences of exposing it will humiliate and render them even more unwanted.
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